We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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