There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
