ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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