All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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