70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have post one night stand depression
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
