Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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