I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
