my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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