I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize