I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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