thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
