is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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