Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
