I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
