Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
