i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Pants are for mortals
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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