They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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