I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate all girls vehemently.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
