well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
