batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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