U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
