are you so shy because you have an std?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
