It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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