Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
