Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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