he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
