I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize