i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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