and you said cock pushups were impossible
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
