he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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