good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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