i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
