New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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