I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
