you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
