what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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