If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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