Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
