so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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