That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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