is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
