so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
What a dumb baby whore.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
