we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
