You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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