you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize