You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize