So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
