my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
