Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
