so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
