the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Randomize
