love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize