Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
