I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
