i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
