i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize