so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
