Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
