Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
