i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
