This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Randomize
