Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize