Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
